Parents' Summer Manifesto: The Great Slowdown
Why this summer, less truly is more—and how to reclaim childhood from the digital deluge
School's out for summer, and if you're like most parents, you might be feeling that familiar pressure to fill every moment, solve every complaint of boredom, and somehow get work done while your kids are home all day.
But what if I told you that this summer could be different? What if instead of doing more, we chose to do less?
Welcome to what I'm calling The Great Slowdown—a gentle rebellion against the assumption that our children need constant stimulation and entertainment to thrive.
The Burden We've Carried
One of the most important responsibilities of us parents is to act as filters of sorts between our children and society. We get to decide what’s appropriate and best for their level of maturity and developmental stage. Yet somewhere along the way, many of us became agents of that very society instead—handing our kids iPads, video games, and smartphones rather than protecting them from the digital deluge.
We've convinced ourselves that children need to be connected to their peers at all times, that they need to be stimulated to escape boredom, and that they require immediate access to entertainment and information. But here's the reality: if most adults can't handle the temptation and alluring enticement of these digital devices, how can we expect our children to be able to resist?
The truth is: most parents know these digital devices aren’t good for our kids and yet our fear wins over. As Gabor Maté explains, “Parents are all too worried that their children will be misfits if they are not plugged in. We should be far more concerned with helping our children realize their potential as human beings" (Neufeld & Maté, 2019).
The Information Age Paradox
There's a deep and disturbing paradox to our Information Age: humans, and most certainly children, were not designed to handle the amount of information they're being subjected to. Even our childhood TV experiences pale in comparison—daytime television used to be so boring that we wanted to leave the house, get outside, and meet up with neighborhood friends.
Now our kids have too much access to entertainment and information—everything is on-demand, resulting in an epidemic of attention problems. Our children are being plagued by a barrage of information, and such overload is well-known to cause problems with attention, memory, retrieval, and distraction.
Studies show we need downtime, especially our kids—time away from stimulation, and digital devices—so our brains can integrate the information we receive, learn, and experience in the real world. When children ingest more information than they can digest, their attentional mechanisms become stressed and fail to develop properly.
Here's the crucial insight: The inflow of information is interfering with the outflow of emergent ideas. We are creating and raising a generation of consumers, not creators.
Boredom: The Misunderstood Gift
One of the most significant signs of a lack of emergent creativity in a child is the experience of boredom. We've attached such negative connotations to this word that parents feel compelled to solve the "problem" of boredom with more stimulation—iPads, computers, video games. Yet this only exacerbates the underlying issue, creating a vicious cycle.
Boredom is not a problem to be fixed—it's a gift to be luxuriated in.
Boredom means we have space. Space has to be created for our children to get in touch with their own thoughts and imaginations, with their own wants and desires, with what lights them up. Boredom is a gift because it's an opportunity to become fully entrenched in the sandbox of the mind, where creativity and self-discovery can grow.
The Quality Over Quantity Revolution
Research consistently shows that it's not the quantity of time we spend with our children, but rather the quality of time that truly matters. This is why it's crucial that we parents designate time where we are fully available to our children—not walking around with smartphones in hand, not ‘watching’ them poolside while scrolling social media.
I challenge every parent reading this: designate a minimum two-hour block each day where your phone is in an entirely different room, computers and laptops are closed, and your children have your complete attention and eye contact. Let them see and feel the glimmer in your eyes, full of love, hope, and belief in them.
This helps children develop a sense of worth and value, knowing they are more important than digital distractions. While the dopamine hit may not be as strong as their favorite video game, this connection is far deeper, more fulfilling, and more life-giving and sustaining.
Practical Steps for The Great Slowdown
Set Clear Boundaries:
Remove video game access and limit internet and digital media exposure
Create technology-free zones and times (eg. no tech in bedrooms and no screens during meals)
Model healthy technology habits yourself
Embrace Real-World Experiences:
Encourage unstructured play and exploration
Provide hands-on activities: arts, crafts, music, outdoor play
Set foot on the grass in your backyard, in the ocean, the lake, a swimming pool, the trampoline, build with Legos, read books, draw with chalk on sidewalks
Reframe Your Mindset:
Judge "normal" by what is healthy, not what is typical
Remember that all kids playing video games doesn't make it right for your child
Focus on optimal development during these pivotal years of brain, personality, and skill development
Foster Creativity:
Allow children to experience boredom as an opportunity
Encourage them to create something with their hands that gives a real sense of accomplishment and mastery
Help them discover what lights them up from within
A Personal Note
I'll be honest—as I write this, I'm in the midst of trying to write a book with my two boys home for summer. There's a temptation to let them get on screens so I can work faster. But I love them too much to prioritize the speed of my writing over the pricelessness of spending quality time with them, experiencing life in the real world alongside them with gratitude, wonder, and awe.
This summer, I'm choosing less so we can connect more.
The Long Game
The long-term goal of healthy development must always trump the short-term strain of peer approval or instant gratification of dopamine dripping devices. We are not harming our children by removing access to the digital fire hose. What our children need most is to be informed not about what the latest influencer creates, but about themselves—to see their value and significance reflected in our eyes and our desire to protect them during this pivotal period of development.
Far more important than any skills our children might master online are the relationships they develop with us, with themselves, and with the three-dimensional world around them.
Join The Movement
If you've been feeling the same pull toward less noise and more meaning, you're not alone. This summer, let's step off the treadmill of screens, stress, and speed. Let's unplug from devices and plug into what really matters: heart to heart connection, presence, wonder.
Let's raise creators of their own magic, not consumers of someone else's content.
The season of summer is for slowing down. Let's make this the summer our kids remember—not for what they watched, but for what they created.
Don't Miss Critical Parenting Insights Like These
Join thousands of parents getting actionable advice they can use immediately. The Successful Parent Newsletter delivers short, powerful strategies to your inbox weekly—each takes just a few minutes to read but can transform your family dynamics for the better.
Subscribe now at Successful Parent Newsletter to protect and empower your children in today's challenging digital landscape. Or follow along on Instagram @successful_parent
About the Author
Dr. Carrie Mackensen brings 25 years of clinical expertise as a psychologist and real-world experience as a mom. With a Ph.D. in Individual, Family, and Child Psychology, she combines evidence-based strategies with practical insights that parents can actually implement.
References
Neufeld, G., & Maté, G. (2019). Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers (Updated ed.). Ballantine Books.